'tis the damn (yaps-a-lot) season
...for innocuous drama and getting caught yappin' with an yapper
Taylor Swift once said, “I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me.”
She clearly didn’t write this during Gemini Season. This time of year is full of very lovable and (mostly) innocuous drama.
The sun is shining! Everything is in bloom! There’s crisp morning air! And warm, sunny afternoons! Birds are chirping! Blossoms abound! We’re all opening up! Ready to take in the possibility of summer! All the Geminis you love (c’mon you love us) are celebrating birthdays!
Or, at least, this is how I assume everyone is feeling right now. All the folks in my life with May/June birthdays, myself included, certainly feel this way. In IRL, there is something magical and buzzy in watching nature wake up, stretch its little paws, and hit its stride by late spring. And, online there’s wild, wordy pettiness—whiny insults thrown between two narcissists, sassy attitude from your favorite personality, and so much text-gasping at your dramatic retelling to your group chat of that one conversation you had with that one person. It’s all so much and so entertaining.
It’s Gemini Season, after all—we were born for this.
Call it what you want, but we’re in the throes of YAPS-A-LOT SEASON. It’s not just the birds chirping. I cannot (and will not) stop talking. All the time. I’m either talking to myself, talking to Nik, talking to my journal, talking to my dogs, talking to my coworker, talking to the cashier at the grocery store, talking to my friends via text, talking to my friends over wine, talking to my friends again via text but this time via voice note because my fingers literally cannot keep up with the thoughts pouring from my overactive brain.
That brain state is the reason I’ve been quiet on Substack (relatively speaking), and it is the same reason I’m a bad texter right now. I’m still an overactive, wordy texter somehow—I’m simultaneously communicating thirty partial thoughts, 125% of a really good idea, 3 x feelings in the form of memes or tik toks, an ounce of tears, a random story about my childhood, a dreamy manifestation of making all my best friends and family live in the same city, and probably some really manic bark-laughs. My conversations—texts, IRL yap sessions, or otherwise—are all punctuated by this dizzying, frenetic energy. Dare I say, a bit dramatic?
Lately, almost daily, I start small-talking with a friend, neighbor, or coworker only to realize that their eyes have subtly glazed over in the middle of the conversation. I’m conversationally out of control, magnetic, confusing, and insufferable. Again, it’s Gemini (Yaps-A-Lot) Season!!
As a textbook Gemini, my insatiable curiosity, expressive banter, and adaptable nature are typically front-and-center. But, this particular May feels heightened in its Gemini-ness. Some people are so polarized by Geminis, as portrayed in pop culture—they’re “fake”/“two-faced”/“moody”/ “flaky”/ “indecisive”/ “a gossip.” There is really some intense Gemini hate out there. Taking the astrology cliches out of the equation, I think this Yaps-A-Lot energy is rooted in another characteristic that I haven’t always embraced…
DRAMA.
As I write this, I’m listening to reputation on vinyl, window open. I only bought this dress so you could take it off—a dreamy, albeit dramatic, serenade for 8 pm on a week night. As if to validate this dreamy drama, there is an early June breeze swishing across my hands from the window, the birds are chirping joyfully in my neighbor’s trees across the street, and the setting sun is casting a soft blue tint on my airy living room. I ALMOST CRY IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL
Taylor is right. The (living room) drama loves me.
Generally, I do consider myself a little bit dramatic. (I’ll pause for my dad and my best friends to roll their eyes at the “little bit.” Y’all good?) And, I’m not coy enough to tell you that I don’t love the drama. Spoiler alert: I do love drama, but let me explain. For a timely Yaps-A-Lot Season example: I talk with my whole self—facial expressions, gesticulating hands, exclamations, gasps, and wide-eyed follow up questions. My penchant for drama is not only true of my speaking mannerisms. I am drawn to sequins and animal prints, I love a bold red lip, I devour fantasy and fiction novels. Doesn’t it sound like I’m your favorite over-the-top auntie? Maybe I am.
Really, I’m just a theater kid without a formal theater—past, present, or otherwise. I’ve surrounded myself in my adulthood with former theater kids and/or current theater adults. As an attorney by day, I’ve found a different kind of stage to perform upon.
In one of my early posts on Well Actually, I talked about a pet peeve—being shushed—because I’m loud and dramatic in so many ways. My working theory at the time was this—
My working theory as to why I’m so enraged when I’m shushed is twofold: my reverence for polite social graces and my deeply held belief that women are over-edited. Seemingly, these are contradictory, but politeness is basic kindness—I’m not overly concerned with arbitrary social etiquette. In other words: just be nice, mind your own business, and LET ME BE TOO TALL.
Ironically, I feel the need to edit this theory, or at least add an addendum. I love the drama of living, of being human, of being a human communicating with other humans. This is just one version of drama.
So often the word “drama” sashays into the room bringing with it all sorts of negative connotation, especially toward women— “she’s overreacting,” “she always needs to be the center of attention,” “she just exaggerates so people feel sorry for her,” “she’s always playing the victim,” “she’s so DRAMATIC.” That’s not to say that sometimes we use drama for ill-intended motives (across the gender spectrum, mind you).
But, that’s not always the case. Being dramatic or loving drama shouldn’t always be pejorative. It doesn’t always have to mean the person is an evil agent of chaos. You can be dramatic with a pure earnestness, you can be dramatic with good intentions, you can be dramatic for fun. Or maybe this is just another polarizing trait of a Gemini. And, as that quintessential moody Gemini—what do I know!?
Regardless, I love the drama and it loves me. Wanna yap about it?
Loud and proud always💖